Tuesday, January 22, 2008

~ Build your Homes ~

In the morning when I come down to our kitchen and find a peanut butter smeared knife stuck to the island and toast crumbs strewn about as well as jars of peanut butter and honey left out and opened, I feel secure and content.
Is it just that I enjoy cleaning up messes first thing in the morning or that I take delight in scraping sticky peanut butter & honey off of counter tops? No, not particularly.

Its what was ALSO left behind on that gooey island that makes my heart feel warm and secure and brings a contented smile to my face.
As I carefully close and pick up his bible I reflect on how very blessed I am.
This wonderful, albeit messy husband of mine, has once again started his day with God.
While he was feeding that tummy of his he remembered that which was so much more important…feeding his mind, heart and soul with Gods word.

Why does this make me feel secure?
I know that every decision that he makes that day will be held up to the scrutiny of Gods word and filtered through the lens of the Holy spirit.
His priorities will be in order, thoughts of his family will be on the forefront of his mind, and Jesus has already been invited to walk with him that day.
I love knowing that my husbands thoughts and actions are being guided and directed by our Heavenly Father. I love that he is open to growing, stretching and moving forward in his walk with God.
I am secure.

What happens when I notice that Bible not out, when I find it on the shelf in the family room getting a little dusty? Well, first thing I do is pray.
If my husband isn’t reading each day it means something is out of whack. He’s working too much, or thinking too much or stressed too much, or just plain too tired!
I bring those concerns to God and ask him to bless my hubby. Then I vow to do what ever I can to alleviate those issues that I think might be affecting him.

Should I nag, worry, or even worse …chastise?
This is our opportunity as wives to be helpmeets to our husbands. This is where we step in and gently encourage them to get back on track. We want them to know how very much we appreciate their spiritual leadership, and how much we respect them.
They are not one of our children to scold and reprimand. They do not deserve to be made to feel inadequate in their role as headship of their homes. Your husband will flourish under your encouragement and belief in him.
Unfortunately, I didn’t always know this.

Sometimes we have to really fail at something to come out stronger and learn so much. At times in the past I would try to convince and persuade my husband to take on the leadership of his family, all the while holding all control tightly in my fist along with any dignity he had!
Informing him of this or that responsibility, reminding him of this or that thing he should be doing or accomplishing. And of course it was never right how he was going about doing any particular thing, he should of course listen to me, an authority on such things.

No wonder our husbands can give up and refuse to take on the role God has designed for them. There's the key ladies, designed for HIM!

If we just step down and let them be, if we just close our mouths and pray, if we just build up instead of tear down, God can be heard.
HIS whisper to our men will be heard, no longer competing with the loud chaos that is us.

Some wives will say "My husband just never gets around to leading the family in devotions" Do you nag him? Do you tell him when he should do it and make him feel bad when he doesn't?
Maybe back off and try encouraging him with one of the kids making a request for him to just read a few verses out loud after dinner or read a small section from a devotional book. Do not step in and take over with what he should do or not do.
Just smile at that hubby of yours and thank him. When going to bed that night, tell him how very much you appreciated him reading and affirm him.
Don't bother to tell him what he should have done or what you would rather him do next time.
Just be content with what has begun and let God complete the work in him.

Some women take the approach of thinking they are more spiritual than their husbands or just believe they know how to do the whole dang thing better than him. They find themselves correcting him, (oops that was me) directing him, (that was me too) and when they really didn't think it was good enough they just take over!
(alas, me as well)
We are not called to pick up the slack, we are to enable!! That means to make possible!
Not to be impossible!

Dig into the scriptures ladies and then take what you find to your husbands and ask their opinions. Ask them questions and pick their brains for their thoughts, instead of being little "Miss. no- it- all." Keep quiet and humble, sincerely seeking the advice and input of your hubby.
What a blessing this will be to him to know that you value and regard his thoughts and point of view. Nothing like a good old deep question to get your husband digging around in the scriptures to come up with an answer for you. One that is received without any unnecessary feedback from you.
Unless of course that feedback entails showering his face with kisses and telling him how very much you respect him and what he means to his family!

Blessed is the woman who is meek and humble in spirit.
Proverbs 14:1 ~ A wise woman builds her home, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.


Life With 6 said...

I have just run across your blog...and it has brought me to tears...thank-you for loving your husband so much, your respect for him is inspiring. Praise the Lord!

Anonymous said...

Hi Sherry -I must say I am really enjoying the priviledge of the "peeks" into your life and your person. I find I am getting to know you on a much deeper level.
You have always been special to me and if possible you are becoming more so.
Much love,

Life With 6 said...

I was curious to know how you manage the crazy hour before Dad walks through the door before dinner...I would love to glean some incite from you. My goal is always to have a peaceful,loving home where everyone feels peace and rest (especially my husband).

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