Monday, December 28, 2009

There are no Tears in Heaven

I was given a beautiful little book from a sweet friend.

"Mommy please don't cry... There are no tears in Heaven."

Of course, once I cracked open the book the tears came freely.

"I met Jesus today Mommy. He cradled me in His big, strong arms. He made me feel so happy inside."

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

The book is full of the most exquisite pictures. Looking at them reached down into the very pit of my pain and fulfilled a visual longing I had. Not even really realizing that the longing was there.

The very longing of my once again be united with my little ones, to have our hearts beat as one.

I know babies that you will wait right there safe and sound enjoying the splendor of heaven, being cared for by the angels and being loved fully by our Heavenly Father.
And I will continue to long for you every day and live in expectation of when I can love on you and care for you like my mamas' heart so desperately wants too.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas

From our family to yours...

Have a bless-ed and Christ filled holiday!!

A very Merry Christmas friends and lots of love,

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Girly Improv

I officially declared yesterday board game day around here. I had much clean up and organizing to do throughout the day. If I saw you, you were going to be put to work. If I heard you, you were going to be put to work.

So all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse...

When it had been awfully quiet for a LONG time, I had thought I better do a check on everyone. There had been a request for tape at one point and my curiosity got the better of me imagining the worst if baby My My got a hold of it. Visions of sugar plums, ornaments and our new kitty covered in tape, danced in my head.

Baby My My was instead found terrorizing the boys chess game and the girls were happily playing a newly repaired game of Mouse Trap.

A pink sparkly emery board had been fastened in place of a missing piece. The girls were not only pleased with the fact that it worked, but they now believed the game looked a whole lot cuter!

Did I mention that I love having girls?

Saturday, December 19, 2009

"What is Sin?"

A son asked his mother the question, "What is sin?"

"Son, Whatever weakens your reasoning, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God or takes away your relish for spiritual things.
In short, if anything increases the authority of the world and power of the flesh over the spirit, that to you, becomes sin, however good it is in itself."

(Thanks to my friend for sharing this awesome quote with me!)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

"The Reason for the Season?"

So Christians everywhere are all up in arms over "Happy Holidays!" Really??!!
Of all the things to get yourself all in a tizzy over is this really that important?
Don't get me wrong, I am against the secularism, and commercialism of Christmas just as much as some.
Jesus is most definitely the reason for the season!

However, I think what I heard on the radio by dear old Focus on the Family is a bit over the top.
Boycotting stores, signing petitions, and sending in emails to change big corporations advertising and store front clerk greetings. Choosing the stores by their Christian/Christmas friendly rating. Wow.

Why so much energy and precious air time poured into this? Wouldn't it be far more fruitful if we just spent that drive and directed that passion into being like Christ this Christmas.

If you have got the "Keep Christ in Christmas" bumper sticker on your car and yet blaring from your livingroom big screen can be heard our Lord and Saviors name in vain during your favorite T.V. program, what reallys the problem?

If on Sunday is the only time your Bible is cracked open or your head is bowed... if you can look back over this past year and can't think of even one new person that you have shared the gospel with...Could it be that there might be a bigger issue?

It seems that Christians can get so caught up in a bandwagon mentality. "Oh, the nerve, the unrighteousness of it all, I am so offended, we must fight back!"


How about we keep the CHRIST in CHRISTIAN this Christmas and any of the other 364 days of the year. Lets encourage one another to focus on those things that really matter.

"And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like Him." ~2 Cor.3:18 (TLB I liked the simpleness of the verse in this translation)

When we pursue God, when we seek hard after Him we receive a heart like Him. That is our reward.
Don't settle for lesser passions. What is greater than a heart like Jesus?

Suddenly, your eyes are opened to what really matters. You see the pain and hurt and suffering all around you. You see the multitudes of lost souls. You hunger after truth, and righteousness.

What does that mean? It means you get off your duff and you do something about it! It means that not a day goes by where you haven't spent time on your knees crying out to God to change you, mold you, USE you to further His kingdom, bless those around you and LOVE.

Okay, so the Old Navy salesperson says "Happy Holidays!" you smile real big and say "Well, thank you and a very Merry Christmas to you!"
"And hey, let me tell you a little something about that Christ in Christmas..."

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays,

Sunday, December 13, 2009


When a believing person prays, great things happen~ James 5:16

Prayer is the recognition that if God had not engaged himself in our problems we would still be lost in the blackness. It is by his mercy that we have been lifted up. Prayer is that whole process that reminds us of who God is and who we are.

I believe there's great power in prayer. I believe God heals the wounded, and that he can raise the dead. But I don't believe we tell God what to do and when to do it.

God knows that we, with our limited vision, don't even know that for which we should pray. When we entrust our requests to him, we trust him to honor our prayers with holy judgement.

Excerpt from Walking with the Savior ~Max Lucado

Friday, December 11, 2009

Counting my Blessings

I was feeling sorry for myself, wallowing a little in self pity.

I was sharing my pain with God and He gently reminded me of how very blessed I am. I spent some time looking through some pictures of the summer and came across a little fun photo shoot I did at my in laws of 3 of my children. Made a little slide show and felt better.

"He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds."-Psalm 147:3

Continuing to count my blessings,

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Season Begins

The Christmas festivities have officially begun here at the Passionate Housewife's house...

This is thanks to two over zealous, relentless, won't stop bugging mama, sweet crafty girls.

Their first craft of the season...

- One glass vase that somehow has not yet been broken in my house of boys.

-Leftover Christmas ribbon and bows from Christmases past.

-Box of candy canes.

-Styrofoam craft balls reused and spilled every year.

-Two very anxious and creative, Christmas loving girls.

And voila.

I love having girls.

Monday, December 7, 2009


The memorial was beautiful. Not only did I feel the spirit of God in the room, but I felt an overwhelming amount of love and support from the people around us.

I have to admit, I still did not feel ready to see people, talk with people, and just be normal. I hid at the front when everyone was coming in. The whole thing was rather surreal.

The ceremony was simple and yet perfect. I felt a peace that I had not felt all week wash over me. Although, I cried throughout the entire ceremony, I dried up when it came time to leave my seat and actually talk to people.

I wish I could say I was gracious and had great things to say, but instead I wandered around rather emotionally spent and a few apples short of a bushel.
Seriously, I introduced family to...uh, family. Tradesmans sister in law to his nephew and wife. Wow, now that was embarrassing.

I walked by one nice man whose wife I know and who had been praying for us consistently throughout this whole thing and just briefly stated "I don't know you" and then kept walking.

I had officially lost it. I think that I said alot of dumb things that didn't make much sense to people, but I really don't remember what I said. The whole thing was so outside my comfort zone, and the emotional state that I was in didn't help much.

There were people that I wanted to connect much more with and yet did not really get a chance too. I was truly overwhelmed by peoples willingness to be there to support us. Some had driven quite a way to get there and others had given up their previous plans to help us out.

Amazing to me how much God can use His people to tangibly show His love through.

A friend who loves us dearly had everything set up and organized when we got there. She amazed me. Her daughter sang for us the song on my blog "I will carry you" during the ceremony. It was breathtaking.
The pastor who did our service not only did a wonderful job, but him and his wife and their group who had been praying for us provided all the food including set up and clean up for the little reception following.
When I was struggling emotionally with putting together our simple little memorial pamphlet, my one friend took 30 min to format and put it together beautifully so all I had to do was take it in to have it copied. She saved me hours and many tears. Her husband and their church also provided the lend of their brand new sound equipment for our singers.
A husband of a sweet couple we know willingly came and selflessly did our worship despite having little time to prepare.

My heart swells with gratitude. My cup overfloweth. God is SO very good.

It is only by Gods grace that the ceremony went as it did and by the people that He worked through.

I know for us that this is not over. I am very aware that my grief is still very real and difficult.
I do have a peace that was not there before. It is a quiet, knowing, and sad peace.

I have to admit both tradesman and I felt very oppressed all last week leading up to the memorial. We were discouraged, a little lost, and overcome with grief.

I am thankful for a God who did not give up on us, who stayed close by and held us tightly in His grip. A God who grants peace out of turmoil and calms the very strong, and mighty storms in our lives.

Tradesman shared with me this song that really ministered to him throughout the week. I thought I would share it here in case it happens to minister to any of you on whatever path or trial you might find yourself in.

Tenth Avenue North - Hold My Heart .mp3

Found at bee mp3 search engine

(Don't forget to pause music in my sidebar)

How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long ’til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I’m on my knees, begging You to notice me
I’m on my knees, Father will You turn to me?

One tear in the driving rain
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that’s all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You’re everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart
I’ve been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye
But if there’s no other way, I’m done asking why
I’m on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I’m on my knees, Father will You run to me?

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that’s all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You’re everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart.

So many questions without answers,
Your promises remain
I can’t see but I’ll take my chances to hear
You call my name
To hear You call my name

One tear in the driving rain
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that’s all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You’re everything You say You are

Would You come close and hold my heart
Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart


Friday, December 4, 2009


Its been a tough week. I'm not going to lie. Planning this memorial is not something I wanted to really do.

I do want to honor their little lives despite how short they were. I do want to recognize them in front of family and friends that they were and are very much loved as much as all of our other children.

I do want to acknowledge the creator and author of life as the lover of our souls, the only one who could possible sustain us at this time.

And yet it is so very difficult.

The body of Christ has been wonderful. There has been no shortage of people willing to help and encourage. I have been overwhelmed by peoples generosity.

I wish I could say it lessens the grief, or makes each day more bearable. However, it does not.

When I was looking for a verse for the memorial handout I was overcome with emotion. It just seemed so unfair. I did not want to make a death handout sound nice. It's not nice.

I want to make a birth announcement. I want to shout from the roof tops how very blessed I am. I want to say the very desire of my heart has been heard and answered!

So hard to hear the voice of truth when the loudness of your grief and emotions are all that fill your ears and mind.

I feel dry. I feel empty. I have nothing lofty to share, no great spiritual insights.

It's funny this line from a hymn has been playing in my head over and over again this week.

"I have no other arguments, I have no other pleas, it is enough that Jesus died and that He died for me..."

It has to be enough. I cannot argue my point, my side, how I see things with the Creator of the Universe. I cannot plea something that is already finished, already decided.

He allows NOTHING to happen that goes outside His realm, His sovereign will.

I know He grieves as well. I know His heart hurts when we hurt.

The reality is we live here on earth. We live a life separate from God, in the shadow of sin.

Our sin.

This life here is not meant to be easy. Its full of trials, pain, grief, and sin.

Our hope cannot be based on temporal issues. That's all we have here. TEMPORARY lives.

Our hope must be built on things that are eternal. Our hope must rest on HIM.

His righteousness. His sacrifice that frees us from this sin filled, broken life here on earth.

"Our heart shall rejoice in Him because we have trusted in His holy name. Let your mercy be upon us, just as we hope in you."

Psalm 33:21,22

When I was looking for a verse, this is the one that comforted me. My hope is on Him and Him alone. I can rest assured that "It is well with my soul."

His mercy, His all encompassing love is what I need, and crave to be able live out this life when it doesn't make sense. When all I want to do is shout up at the sky "WHY?"

It is well with my soul. It is well with my soul.

It is enough.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Baby Memorial

For those of you who are in town and are not on our email list or facebook I wanted to post the information here for our memorial as well.

The memorial will take place this Saturday, Dec.5th at 2:00pm
Summerside Community Chapel on Commissioners East of Highbury.

For those of you not coming in bloggy world please keep me in your prayers as I am sure it will be a difficult day.

Thanks so much.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

What's for Breakfast?

Take a guess at what baby My My had for breakfast...

Yes, I am a BAD, BAD mother.

"No, you are not mama, Everyone knows that chocolate cookies are an essential part of a toddlers diet."

"Besides, they are finger lickin' good."

My excuses are as follows :

~I slept in after a restless night of bad dreams and crying.

~I still had not drank a cup of coffee when I tore open this package of cookies to give her one.

~I wanted chocolate cookies too.

~I was having a bad hair day. (could be I need a shower)

~It was sunny outside.

~I didn't want to make her eggs or oatmeal and scooping yogurt into a bowl seemed too much trouble. (Pathetic)

Seems she enjoyed her breakfast, and now that I have confessed, I feel better too.

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