Friday, February 26, 2010

Let There be Light

I was totally planning on debuting my new birthday present from tradesman, but I forgot to take pictures. I, uh, meant too, but got distracted.

I know.

You are shocked.

Anywhoo, I did however, come across a funny and uplifting little video.
So I leave you with a laugh and fresh hope for a new day.

"Let there be Light!"

Finding my way out of the darkness daily,

p.s. birthday gift pictures coming soon (not that you are as excited as I am :)

(Remember to pause music in my sidebar)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Joy Stealers

1. Focusing on what you can't do and what you don't have rather than on what you can do and what you do have.

2. Anger ~ at your circumstances, at someone.

3. Self-pity ~ wallowing and staying inwardly focused.

4. Fear ~ whether it be of the future or the unknowns.

5. Envy ~ looking around and thinking that everyone always seems to be better off than you are.

We cannot control what happens around us, we cannot control the people around us. The circumstances that we find ourselves in, the trials endured, the disappointments, betrayals, and difficulties are all part of living in a fallen world.

Bad things happen, people make mistakes, life hurts. We have a choice.


We can allow these joy stealers to creep into our thoughts and minds and consume us or we can allow ourselves to be captivated by real, healing, bless-ed joy.

Does joy necessarily mean giddy happiness?

I don't believe so. Sure there are times where it is most definitely that. But there are other times where joy is far more quiet and subdued.

...In your presence is fullness of joy...Psalm 16:11(NKJ)

Joy in His presence not necessarily in our present circumstances. The circumstances may be disappointing, they may be ugly, they may be overwhelming but the fact remains there is still a possibility for joy.

Psalm 15:9 (NKJ)

~As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.

11 ~These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you and that your joy may be full.

Abide in His love and His joy will remain in you.

Abiding, relishing, pursuing our Saviors love will produce joy that sustains through any situation, any disappointment any trial.

Looking heavenward, looking to the truth found in His word.

This is where you will find your joy, whether it be giddy and overflowing or quietly being weaved into your innermost being.

Choose Him.

Choose joy.


Monday, February 22, 2010

He Keeps a Record

I think as women we often are disillusioned on how we see God.

We believe that he is far more interested in how much we fall short, how we fail. We focus on what we perceive to be His list of our shortcomings.
How obscure. We are on Gods heart and mind, but not for the very reason that we think.

What has brought me joy as of late is this.

His record.

No, it is not His record of my sins which I'm sure are plenty. It is His record of my pain.

You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.

~Psalm 56:8 (New Living Translation)

Or the way its worded in "The Message"

You've kept track of my every toss and turn
through the sleepless nights,
Each tear entered in your ledger,
each ache written in your book.

God keeps a record.

He knows our pain. He feels our pain.

I hurt with the hurt of my people.
I mourn and am overcome with grief.

~Jeremiah 8:21(New Living Translation)

You are significant.

You matter to the King.

No matter what you dealing with, it is not going unnoticed. He is there in your pain and your grief.

Step out.

It's time.

Trust Him to reach into those hidden places that all scream out for something more.

Below I have posted a beautiful song by Selah. It is called "Unredeemed."
Whatever your sorrow, your pain, He sees it all and it will not go unredeemed...

(remember to pause the music in my sidebar first)

We never know the miracle He has in store,

Friday, February 19, 2010

Winning Their Hearts

"It's the way that I respond to my children in the everyday moments that gives me the best chance of winning their hearts forever. If I have integrity and patience in the small moments of life that are so important to my children, and if I approach them with a servants heart, then I have a far better chance of influencing them in the larger more critical issues of life."

(excerpt from~ The Mission of Motherhood~Sally Clarkson)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Got Milk?

Or blueberry smoothie, rather.

She makes blueberry health shakes at least look yummy...

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Song of the Tradesmans Wife

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth
For your love is far better than chocolate
Draw me to you

You, my tradesman are most handsome
Rugged, yet gentle
Manly, yet sensitive
Strong and dependable
Full of adoration for your family

Your smile makes me weak
Your adorable dimples, they tease me
Your lips stir passion so deep

Hands so rough and calloused
Years of hard work for your family
Their touch so careful with our little ones
Their touch so breathtaking with me
It lingers long on

Yes, He is altogether lovely
This is my beloved
This is my friend

I hear your voice and I smile
You are home and it means I am complete
Your strong arms, they encircle me
My face finds my way into your chest and I am content

Your breath on my neck reminds me
Our love so fulfilling, so exquisite
Our passion a gift so precious
I anxiously await to open it again and again

So many years now
There were times where it seemed it was too hard
Would our love make it through?
Was there a way back to where it began?

Seems like such a distant memory
It has blown away a grain at a time
Like sand in the wind
Scattered, never to be found

The future is in front of us
The journey so exciting, so fresh
No one I would rather run hand in hand with
And I thank God

I am my beloved's
And my beloved is mine

*inspired by The Song of Solomon :)
Happy Valentines Day Tradesman!

Forever Yours,

Friday, February 12, 2010


"Difficulties... are only miracles that have not yet happened... The difference is whether I'm going to endure evil or make it a vehicle of blessing."

"Daily with the King"
( devotional) by Glyn Evans.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Cheat Day

Because of this whole annoying diet thing, I eat no sugar at all or anything remotely yummy, except for one glorious day a week to which I affectionately refer to as "Cheat Day".

My sweet, freshly turned 7 yr. old gets SO excited about this day. She has been cursed blessed with her mamas' sweet tooth. And this is the day that all things chocolate enter our house for a brief 24 hrs.

Recently, she celebrated this day by making tradesman buy me chocolate, candy and Pillsbury cinnamon rolls to serve me in bed. She planned on starting mamas' day with a bang!

The missing cinnamon roll from the plate would be because I, ahem inhaled it.

Don't think I can't hear you snickering about the proportional accuracy of her drawing...

Counting down till my next cheat day,

p.s. down 6 was that pesky looong period that was holding things up :)

Monday, February 8, 2010

A New Outlook

My perceptions have been blown open. My outlook is different. I have been challenged and encouraged in my thinking.

I read a book recently called "Same Kind of Different as Me." The book was written by Ron Hall and Denver Moore.

The story is true. The story isn't always pretty.

There is hardship. It is such that we have never known, or could even begin to understand. It's a beautiful story of redemption so powerful in the lives of two men with two very different backgrounds.

God uses one woman to weave His incredible gift of grace into both of their lives and bring them together in a way that could only be truly orchestrated by Him.

I got angry, I cried, I marveled, I rejoiced.

I will never look at some people the same way again.

My family participated in a homeless coat drive in December. We joined friends whose church ministers to the homeless with a big hot breakfast and distributes coats, hats, mitts to those in need.

My family prayed for those that we would be serving, and speaking too. We were all prepared to speak into their lives, share the gospel and love on them.

What great lofty ideas, what ignorance and arrogance really. To think that we could just go down there once a year and really reach their hearts?!

Honestly, I was discouraged when I came home. Sure they got fed, they received tracts, and they left with coats. But did we make an eternal impact? I didn't think so.

One guy whom I spoke to for what seemed like forever, actually correction, he spoke to me forever exasperated me.

Everytime I tried to mention Christ, Gods love for him, his need for a Saviour I was given a long monologue on stairs to heaven, a coke can, balancing on a pole and dishwashers.

He was fried. He made NO sense. Be it drugs, mental illness, spiritual oppression, he was more than a few screws loose. My heart ached for him, I longed to share with him all that was stored up in my heart.

I wondered if the whole thing was futile. Had we really addressed their spiritual needs or just met their physical needs?

Yes and no to both.

Seeds may have been planted with some, and we had reached out and cared with the heart of Jesus.

We are called to do just that. Speak truth, care, love and serve.

It was not all that I envisioned it to be, but I was glad to be a part of it.

~Fast Forward~

After reading this book, (Same kind of Different) I was ashamed. I realized that I had limited God in what He could do. I had limited His power to certain people. It shouldn't matter what shape they are in now, how dire they look, how hopeless the situation seems.

God restores, heals, makes all things new.

He is in the business of miracles.
Life-changing, earth shattering, Spirit transforming miracles!

We may not have daily interactions with homeless, drug addicted, rough living people. But we all have lost people in our lives. I am sure everyone knows a prodigal or maybe has even been a prodigal themselves.

I was talking to a friend once about my frustration, my burden for some lost relatives. It seemed so hopeless at times, so impossible.

She encouraged me to look at them through different eyes. She said to me, "See them how they will be. Don't look at them the way they are now. Look at them as if God has already transformed them. What can you see?"

"Look at their strengths and then imagine how those strengths would manifest themselves if the Holy Spirit got a hold of them. See them as already a new creature in Christ. The fire, the passion."

Oh, how this encouraged me. It transformed my prayer life for the close, unsaved people around me. I had fresh insight, a fresh purpose, and new hope.

I am energized. I am thank-ful for things yet to come.

And I await.

Till He makes all things new.

p.s. I highly recommend this book. You won't regret it and I guarantee it will move you and shake you.
(Don't we all need that now and then? :)

Friday, February 5, 2010

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

These are a Few of My (non) Favorite Things

Fruit Protein Smoothies. Oh, I know it looks purty...but don't let that fool you. Looks can be deceiving ya know.
Because of the myriad of healthy ingredients inside it tastes tastes like, oh.. I have no idea what it tastes like, but its not good I tell ya, not good at all!

Eggs. Whoever coined the phrase "natures perfect food" didn't have to eat them EV. ERY. DAY!

Dumbbells. They come by their name honestly.
I know what you're thinking..."those red workout pants are really hot."

And the bane of my existence. The Treadmill.

Oh, I know, everybody WANTS a treadmill. I remember feeling that way once upon a time.
The thing is, once you have one, you are indebted to actually USE one.
Let me tell you, its not all fun and games. When the couch is only 12 ft from your hard core run, it takes some mighty feisty arguments between your head and your body where no one's really a winner to keep yourself on that said treadmill.

So after almost a month of a brutal diet and exercise regime 6 days a week I have lost a total of..wait for it... 3 pounds. 3 whole stinkin' pounds.

Oh, and that 3 pounds? It came off EXACTLY where I was hoping it would come off. I remember thinking to myself "Gee, I really hope my cup size shrinks, I mean I wouldn't want to hit a "C" or anything like that. (Sheesh)

So I guess my mid tire and I are bound to be BFFs for evermore. (Perfect)

*If you are detecting some angst in this post, that would be the low blood sugar talking. I apologize. :)

Hungry and cranky,

Monday, February 1, 2010

On a Personal Note

I haven't shared a whole lot about the physical side of my loss. It just seemed too personal, too painful to talk about.

After some questions from friends and some emails from women that I do not know personally who were curious about the choices we made I have decided to share.

The day that we went to the hospital one last time to confirm whether or not our babies were truly lost we fully expected to be admitted for a "procedure" if indeed they were.

Thankfully, the obstetrician that we spoke to after checking one last time for a heart beat really spent some time with us. He listened to my heart and my desires and gave me another option.

He was just as adamant as the other OBs and doctors that we do not wait out the miscarriage to come on its own. He too agreed that it was far too big of a risk.

He did however give me the option of taking a drug that would induce labor and allow the miscarriage to happen with the help that would be needed to do it efficiently. He prescribed a drug and allowed me to go home. I would need to take it for 24 to 48 hrs and then return to the hospital for yet another ultrasound. This time it was to be an internal one (lovely) to make sure that the drug did its job fully.

I was thankful to be able to go home, take the drugs and crawl into bed. I won't lie, it was not an easy route to take. The drugs had nasty side effects, the labor came on with a vengeance and the whole thing was messy, painful and difficult.

The decision was not made lightly. The OB had laid out the risks, he told us what to watch for and what to head to the hospital for.

It boiled down to the fact that I wanted to see my babies, I wanted to hold them just once. I know for some women that would just be too painful and I completely respect that.

For me, it was the closure that I craved.

There were a couple of scary hours. The placenta did get stuck and I did pass out at one point. Tradesman prayed fervently and kept watch on my bleeding. God was there. He never left us alone.

When I followed up for the ultrasound I was told that the drugs had adequately expelled everything from my uterus, but that the lining of my uterus still looked abnormal which could be expected from such a large loss. I was warned that my first menstruation would be a doozy. (oh joy)

I did bleed for a good month following. I was not however, quite prepared for the "doozy" that he warned of.

My first menstruation after some spotting and light bleeding came on like a beast in the middle of the night. It awakened both myself and tradesman. (that would be my yelping)

A hot shower while trying to find a way to even sit and ease the pain with lots of crying and feeling sorry for myself was how the rest of the middle of the night played out.

I ended up in bed for the rest of the next day and found the first 24 hrs to be crippling. Even walking to go to the bathroom was brutal. Nausea was a nice sidekick to the whole thing as well. I have had some bad periods but nothing quite like that. At times it took my breath away.

It has now become the gift that just keeps on giving. I am now on day 10 and the bleeding will not stop. The pain is fine, no problem there now. I am just exhausted and spent. I feel weak and drained.

So my question to those of you who have experienced miscarriage is ~

What was your first period like following your loss?

Was it extra long?

I have never had a period that lasted more than 5/6 days and by that time the bleeding was light. After my previous miscarriages it was no different.

This seems to show no signs of slowing down.

I am looking for natural ways that I could heal and feel better. I would like to avoid going back to the hospital if at all possible.

If you do not feel comfortable sharing in my comments please email me at~

I am so very grateful for the wealth of women who share their wisdom, knowledge, experiences and ideas with one another. What a gift to each of us...thank you.


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