~ A Bridal Shower ~

I haven't posted much of late, I'm sorry. I have a very active social life... okay, not, but I like to pretend I do.
Actually, I think I'm becoming a bit of an agoraphobic because I find myself stressed and hyperventilating if I have to leave the house more than two days a week. Lame, I know, but these prego hormones have a way of messing with you a bit. Like when I almost ate that whole pan of homemade fudge yesterday.
I can't believe I just admitted to that, I take it back, you can't prove anything!

I did however, go to a lovely bridal shower on the weekend. It was for a dear, sweet girl who is a part of a family I love so very much. I thought I would share some photos because we women love to see pretty, girly things. Well, at least I do anyway.

Here is the pretty bride to be. She is just a baby isn't she. I can't believe I was this young getting married! Her and her hubby to be, so very much love Jesus. They are full of life and excitement for the journey ahead. I couldn't be happier for them both.


Look at all this loot!

Everything was wrapped so beautiful.

This present was cute, it was a basket full of laundry and household needs. The little sign says "When I said I do, I didn't mean laundry"
In the brides little speech she mentioned she could hardly wait to learn how to cook and clean laundry for her new little hubby. Yes, she has been a little spoiled by her mama and hasn't had to do any of that. Her exuberance and vivaciousness for her role ahead leaves me no doubt on how quick she will learn and love this new part of her grown up life.
Though, I have to say as I looked at my tradesmans tile grout caked, carpet adhesive laden mountain of laundry yesterday, I tried to remember what that feeling was like, and since I couldn't conjure it up... I ate another piece of fudge and felt much better.

The food was glorious, food is always glorious when you are pregnant.

This chocolate fountain was divine! I think anything dipped in it would be incredible, including the chair that was stationed near by...we pregnant women can be very resourceful. Luckily for the hostess she had plenty of fruit, so I didn't have to resort to that.


Everything was just so pretty and delightful. I felt like I was in the movie "Father of the bride."



I wish you much happiness in the years to come my dear Shelley-Belly!

THE TONE OF VOICE

It's not so much what you say
As the manner in which you say it;
It's not so much the language you use
As the tone in which you convey it;
"Come here?" I sharply said,
And the child cowered and wept.
"Come here," I said---
He looked and smiled
And straight to my lap he crept.
Words may be mild and fair
And the tone may pierce like a dart;
Words may be soft as the summer air
But the tone may break my heart;
For words come from the mind
Grow by study and art ---
But tone leaps from the inner self
Revealing the state of the heart.
Whether you know it or not,
Whether you are mean or care,
Gentleness, kindness, love and hate,
Envy, anger, are there.
Then, would you quarrels avoid
And peace and love rejoice?
Keep anger not only out of your words---
Keep it out of your voice.

(Author Unknown ... Taken from Gate-Keepers of the Home Manual by Nancy Campbell

~Stinky, Smelly Pride~

A discussion started on a mothering email list I am a part of. It got rather passionate and opinionated.
Some of my thoughts on the subject were not appreciated by some, and even offended others.

I realized how very sensitive we are as mothers, how insecure and prideful we can be about our mothering styles.
Even though there were mothers that agreed with what I was saying, it's the mothers that feel judged that speak up and feel the need to defend themselves.

My intent was never to question another's method nor imply that my way is the right way.

I love that God made us all unique as mothers, not unlike our children. We are all on a journey of growth, and not all of us are in the same place.

Below, I have posted where I was at almost a year ago. I'm not proud of it. This is an entry from my prayer journal.
**********************

A journal entry Sept.2007.

Why is it that I care so much what other mothers think?
Why do I stew over and over again in my head the behavior of my child.
Why do I find myself defensive and resentful like I’ve already been judged?
How do I know this to be true? Is it that I am guilty of this?

When I see a certain behavior by another child I automatically assume it is because of this reason or that reason. I, of course, already have all the answers.
So as I sit in my lofty position of wisdom, I detest that I find myself in the vulnerable situation of being judged. Or so I think.

Today I was in a nursery with my 22mnth old son at my homeschool group with another mother that I know. Her and I do things different. That’s okay, I respect her and most importantly I know her heart. Her heart is in the same place as mine.
She wants to raise godly extraordinary children who not only impact the world for good, but seek to increase Gods kingdom.

So really her and I aren’t really that different after all.
Our day to day choices with our babies and toddlers may be different but our ultimate goals and desires are one in the same.
So why do I find myself on edge when I am with her and her young son?

As mothers we can be so passionately attached to our opinions because really they are what reflect us as individual beings. We derive our value from our choices.

I can find myself insecure at times in the presence of other mothers if my child is not behaving perfectly. This is of course, only other mothers that I know don’t do things like I do. These are mothers that I obviously have already judged and whose baby raising techniques I disagree on.
Apparently, I feel the need to perform to show how my way is far superior.

Ewww… I smell pride. So easy to sneak up on us.
God is so gracious. He knows when we need a lesson. If my littlest one performed just perfectly all the time in front of these mothers that I wanted to impress, than I would really have no need of enlightenment, would I. Thankfully he doesn’t.

Oh, how I love how my Heavenly Father wants to refine me, stretch me, grow me. He’s not just satisfied with a sacrificial heart for my children, He wants a sacrificial heart for Him. He wants me to do away with my pride, my ridiculous judgments, and my insecurities.
Thank you God for never leaving me to myself. For making me uncomfortable in the place I’m in, so that I may seek to restore my heart in line with yours.
**************
I'm glad and thankful for the journey He has brought me on this past year.
I've grown, I look at things a little differently and most importantly, I can rest in the knowledge that God isn't done with me yet.

~ Sunset at the beach ~

We love going to the beach as a family throughout the summer.

A few random shots that I loved, I thought I would share.






Baby bump alert~ look I can still see my toes...okay I'm lying, tradesman took this picture .

Sunset is like candlelight, you can't see cellulite...don't ya just love that?!


Is he yummy or what?

~ Invisible ~

So much of what we do as women at home everyday goes unnoticed. The constant unending cleanups, the daily character training of our children, the messy spills, the huge task of preparing good, healthy food, and even the self-sacrifice of time to ourselves.

It's easy to start to feel invisible.
I even find myself, at times, giving my husband a thorough rundown of all the things I did that day complete with details. It's like somehow I need him to see, understand, and recognize my daily labor.

We have to realize that as women that are dedicated to fully giving our all to our families, we will be unnoticed at times by them.
However, that does not mean that our labor is in vain, or inferior in any way. The invisibility does not detract from it's value.

May you be as blessed as I was, watching the video below.



(Remember to turn off music in my sidebar)

~ A Needed Getaway ~

Tradesman and I went away for 4 glorious days together to Niagara Falls. We left all of our children in good hands. It was difficult for both of us to leave them, especially the little one. He is just 2 1/2.
They all had so much fun and we really had nothing to worry about. It's hard for us mothers to justify leaving our kids when we spend every waking moment with them. We feel such a sense of responsibility to be there for them at all times.

Tradesman and I do make it a habit to go away for one romantic long weekend every year. Sometimes a baby comes along because we won't leave them until they are at least 2. That has never affected the great time that we have.
I realized when we were away how very much we need this time together. When you are away just the two of you, you tend to let loose, be a little crazy. There are no real responsibilities, you have no stress. The whole thing is just about fun and connection.

As a woman we are always a little torn at home. We have so many little things that are going on in our heads that giving our husbands 100% of our attention every time he is in our midst is near impossible. Whereas when you are away, just the two of you, it allows you to once again turn into that love-sick teenager and fawn all over that knight of yours. Interestingly enough, that knight seems to be far more "knight like" when it's just the two of you because he is relaxed and feeling a little love-sick as well.

I think the key to a happy, long lasting marriage is determined by a lot of things. However, capturing moments away together out of the daily grind of life is pivotal in keeping romance alive. You have a chance to explore your similar interests together, you laugh more, you play, you make love like the world might end tomorrow.

If you don't already do this, start! Put it in the budget and make it work.
So many marriages start to become dull, the couple find they have nothing to talk about anymore. Everything becomes just about the kids or getting by day to day.
These are the couples that find themselves one day staring into the eyes of a stranger. They no longer know why they are married to this person. Life dishes out so much at us. Just surviving sometimes is the only option. Having someone there who you are truly connected to and you know is on your side will make all the difference.

It's the special memories that you continue to make together through the years that will carry you through during rough waters.
Once a year for the health and vibrancy of your marriage, go away together or have the children watched while you make a special retreat out of your home for just the two of you.

I'm telling you, it's simply wonderful!!

~ Is It Worth It? ~

I was spending an afternoon with another homeschool mom today. She has 4 boys. The plan had been to spend an afternoon outside in their little aboveground pool. Unfortunately, the weather had other plans.

The kids were itching to get together, so we decided to go ahead anyway and we headed over. The mom and I were having a nice cup of coffee and chatting away the afternoon. Suddenly, it dawned on her how quiet the house had been. With my 5 children and her 4 there were a total of 9 kids playing quietly and happily in the house. Games of chess, monopoly, and crafts were being done on this rainy afternoon.

She commented how nice it was to have another family over whose kids were so quiet and relaxed. We discussed how rare it is. Kids that get along well, are quiet, and generally a joy to be around.
Why is that rare? Another mother she knew whose kids are quite a handful asked her how she did what she did. Her response was "intentional, time-intensive parenting."

God said "by the sweat of your brow" men will toil the earth. I can't help but think it is the very same thing for us mommas. This ain't no job for sissys!!
I joke that it's blood, sweat and tears that produce great kids. Not really blood, but you know what I'm saying!

It takes time each day to train, correct, discipline, and encourage these little ones of ours. Doing it only half-way produces kids that reflect that, doing it consistently reaps us rewards.

So is it worth it? You bettcha! Everytime I go out with my kids, everytime I receive a compliment, everytime I sit peacefully for an afternoon with another lady. My kids aren't perfect by any means, but their behavior on the most part, and the joy that they are to us and others reminds me of why I have no choice but to work my tushy off each day being intentional, and doing the time-intensive parenting that it takes!