Waiting

Got a call from an OBs office today. A clinic has been set up with him on Monday. This comes with strict instructions from my doctor, the OB and even the receptionist..sheesh.

If at any time I begin to have symptoms... a fever, a sore abdomen, cramping, feeling unwell, spotting, weird discharge, a blue toe, new grey hair, whatever, I am to go directly to emergency.

As if tradesman is not anxious enough. Now I will receive 4632 calls from him tomorrow checking in from work. I'm usually the neurotic one.

So we simply now wait.

I need to find some normalcy in the next handful of days for my children.

They have been such troopers this past week. The eldest two have held down the fort most of the time. They had to babysit for almost 2 long days while I was out of town with both hospital visits and doctor.

They have all eaten cereal for breakfast, lunch and supper everyday unless of course you count the pogos tradesman made for them one night. Not a far stretch nutritionally from cereal, but hey, they had protein. (is processed wieners technically protein?)

I need to do my job, I need to grocery shop, I need to stop crying.

I have no idea what next week holds, it could be back to cereal again.
For now, for the next couple of days I will try to make the best of them.

I will watch my little girls dance in the kitchen when they ask me too. I will read stories to my two little ones and I will look braver so my big boys don't keep feeling the need to reach out and hug me everytime they walk by.

Its funny. I could barely be seen without my Bible in hand during the weekend. I poured over the scriptures with abandon. I would awake during the night and reach for it, I would arise early and soak it up. My Bible came with me to the hospital and tradesman and I read constantly. When I sat alone in the little rooms, I took joy in His word.

I have not opened it since Monday.

Thankfully, His words are very much stored up in my heart, mind and soul. Scripture has come to me abundantly since Monday, but I have had no desire to open His precious word.

My prayers spilled out of me during the weekend. Like my reading it was day and night. I always had so much to say. Now I open my mouth and nothing comes out.

Tradesman has prayed enough for both of us. He holds my hand and prays for me. He reminds me that I don't need to have words, but just to be still before God. The Holy Spirit will groan on my behalf. I take comfort in this.

It is time to turn back to His word now. There I will find ~

Solace

Strength

Truth

and most of all, I will find my God whom I so desperately need.


Thank-you for your prayers, encouragement, scripture, kind words and love.

Love,