Today we say goodbye to our precious little babies or today we stand in awe of a miraculous life-giving God.
Yes, we are still praying for a miracle. While most are sending us their condolences for our loss, we know some are still standing in the gap praying and petitioning for our babies lives.
God has had us on a journey this week. He has worked deep within our souls. We still feel called to pray and plead for our babies lives right until they leave my womb and God has clearly spoken.
It doesn't really matter what the doctors are saying. It doesn't really matter what the circumstances say. We serve an incredible God who heals, restores, and can bring to life.
We were encouraged by some to not grow weary or faint in our praying, to not lose heart. They promised to hold us up this week when we did. It has been a roller coaster of emotions.
Their faith spurred us on. Their encouragement reminded us that this is still not over.
Like Jesus teaches us how to pray in Luke 18:1 The parable of the persistent woman and the judge. She petitioned him relentlessly, so much so that he grew weary of her.
God does not grow weary of us. He wants us to call out to Him day and night and He bears long with us. He wants our faith.
Hebrews 11:1~ Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
2nd Corinthians 5:7~For we walk by faith, not by sight.
Like the widow we have no assurance of what His answer will be. We do not know the mind of the Lord.
And yet, we still need to get out of the boat. I cannot help but feel like Peter when he saw Jesus walking on the water out towards the boat. Jesus called to him and told him to "Come".
John 14:30,31 ~ But when he (Peter) saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!" And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"
Despite the rocky waters this week, despite the storm, I will still obey. I will get out of the boat. I will hold fast to my faith.
The difference is, this time we already have our peace. This time we go in hoping for a miracle but at peace with His perfect plan. Steadfast faith pleases our Lord. Steadfast faith grows us.
Either outcome still benefits us. I truly believe that.
If I leave the hospital today without my precious babies, I will still stand in awe of His greatness, and of His might because despite the sorrow that I will feel, I will marvel at what He has done in me.
I will never be the same.
And for that, I thank you God.