An Easter Repost

*I wrote this a couple of years ago on my blog, but it still resonates with me every Easter. The internal struggle that I feel and wrestle with... to remember, to revere, to truly desire to embrace my Lords suffering for me and yet the impossibility to do so in a way that gives me peace. Thank you my precious Lord, yet again, for your sacrifice...*


Tears fall on the dark wood floor. My shoulders, they feel so heavy. The weight is unbearable, how I ache to put it down.

This burden of my sin. It cuts deep knowing that after all that He did for me, I still so easily fail Him. His death means freedom from eternal punishment, His resurrection means hope, new life and yet, I still weep.

I know that He is my everything, my all and all and I long to please Him.

Oh Father, how I long to please you.

I wander aimlessly around lost in my thoughts these last couple of days in the aftermath of the Easter weekend.

I reflect at how Jesus still seems to get brushed to the side no matter how much I vow to put Him front and center. I promise every year it will be different. I add new traditions, I am intentional, but in all its planned purpose, it still lacks.

Can we really ever be reverent enough, can we really ever dwell on His holiness, His sacrifice in a way that will satisfy our innermost desire to embrace His suffering and death to the point that somehow we will have given it justice.

Never.

I am human. I am selfish. I will always be at a loss.
Each day as I lay here at His feet, I again realize that it's daily.

Deny, Deny, Deny.

I will deny my flesh. I NEED to deny my flesh.

My humanness is a mess, always such a mess. He is perfect, blameless and He loves...Oh, how my Saviour loves.

I shield my eyes from the mess, the gory, brutal mess of my first love hanging there on that cross. His blood it drips and spills, pours out for me and I feel hot tears fresh on my face. I watch them drip on the floor and marvel at how broken I am yet again.

You bring me to my knees, your love for my wretched soul. I come knowing that I am not worthy, you alone are my ransom. Bought and paid for with the blood stained tree, the spikes encased in flesh, the bruised, battered body and the salty, tear stained face.

Its clear.
My pride, my selfishness, my laziness, my impatience, my anger, my lack of self control, it's all here.

I am led to the cross. In all its ugliness there is beauty too great to put into words. A beauty that takes my breath away.

He thinks I am worthy enough, he has seen something worth saving that I don't see.

I am humbled, my soul stirs deep and I count the cost.


I belong to you.


I belong to you.

I Wish...

I wish I spent more time smiling at my kids rather than correcting.


I wish I spent more time thanking my sweet tradesman for everything he does for me rather than complaining about what still isn't done.


I wish I would welcome unexpected guests into my home graciously and with enthusiasm rather than be so concerned about the state of my home or self.


I wish I spent less time sulking and focusing on how our family has been mistreated by the body of Christ and rather praised God for the sanctifying work He is doing in me and in His people knowing His timing and purposes are perfect.


I wish that I spent more time joyfully cleaning and caring for my many things rather than doing it with disdain and frustration.


All I know is grace.


I have been listening to this beautiful song called "All I have is Christ" by Sovereign Grace

Timely with Good Friday just around the corner. Here are the words.


I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way.
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave.
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will.
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still.

But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross.
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace.

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me.
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose.
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You.

Funny how all week I have been singing this song and sang...

"Oh Father, use my wretched life in any way You choose."

Not until tonight did I realize when I looked up the words of the song for this post that not wretched, but ransomed was the actual word.

Thank you Father that the wretchedness in me you have ransomed.

The strength to follow your commands could never come from me. Whatever someone sees in my life is only because of you. My song will forever be, my only boast is you.

Yes, we are wretched...

but we are ransomed.

(remember to turn music off in my sidebar before clicking on video below)

Lil' Washer Platt turns "1"

It's hard to believe that it was a year ago today that another sweet baby entered our family. Little Washer Platt came early, came fierce, and was born straight into tradesman's arms during a major snow storm.

That was the beginning of the little surprises lil' washer had in store for us. It's been a difficult year but a bless-ed year, a busy year, but a reflective year.

I thought I would put up some of our favorite photos of the little guy over the last 12 mnths and share why tradesman and I named him what we did...

Not sure what to say about this picture above other than doesn't he remind you of the old man from the movie "UP"

What a precious little blessing Washer Platt has been. When we found out we were expecting a boy, and started to consider names, tradesman shared that he wanted our sons name to represent something. He wanted his name to really matter and to say something about our family.

Many men will name their sons after fathers, uncles, brothers, grandfathers, friends, all people that are special and significant in their life. (we have).
This time tradesman wanted to name our son after 2 men that have played a very significant, and life changing role in our family's life, and in tradesman's life specifically.

God has used the teachings of two godly preachers to shape, mold, and revive our faith in a way that has changed us both forever. To our Heavenly Father, we will always be grateful for this.

Raising a godly family has been a passion of ours, and yet complacent, cultural Christianity is all around us. Raising children who were dedicated to living out their faith passionately, pursuing holiness rather than worldliness and choosing to live set apart for the purpose to which God had called them too was and is our desire.

The first time we heard Paul Washer speak, we knew we had found a brother. He was saying things that we had never heard anyone preach before. There were many amens resonating in our hearts.

You can listen to the first sermon that we ever listened to of his right here. Be warned, this isn't for the faint of heart. Some will not like him because he preaches straight up from the word of God with conviction and passion.

For us, his preaching is so refreshing, affirming, challenging and invigorating as many pastors today proclaim that they are preaching from the word of God but they still preach with an obscure, fleshy agenda.
Paul Washer's preaching drives us to the word of God and edifies our faith.
If you want to download his sermons, you can find them here.

There are so many great ones. Some favorites would be his sermons on Biblical Missions, Biblical manhood and womanhood, Be a man, The true Gospel, Examine yourself, 10 indictments against the modern church, Biblical courtship...honestly, I could go on and on, so I won't. You'll have to check him out for yourself.

Tradesman listens to him daily, he can't get enough. If you only have a moment, here is just a snippet right now to give you an idea. Right here. (an oldy, but goody)

Tradesman and I attended the "Desiring God" conference in Minneapolis back in September and unbeknown to us Paul Washer and his ministry, Heart Cry had a table in the conference hall.
We "bumped" into him in the hallway and got to have a little chat with him and when he was holding lil'washer I snapped a quick pix of the two of them.

He took the time to pray with us and over lil'Washer..what a blessing.

The other preacher that we named our little guy after is David Platt. A couple years ago tradesman and I came across the sermon series he had preached in his church. It was named the Radical series.

These 8 sermons shook us, challenged us, and brought us on our faces before God in a new way. God used them to change much about how we think, and life-changing was the impact.

You can find all 8 sermons here. And you can find all of David Platts sermon series (all excellent) for free here at Disciple making International.

Since then David Platt has written a book called Radical and Radical together, both of which I highly recommend.
Watch out though, you and your family will never be the same!

Well, that was a lot of links, and such an inadequate description of what the Holy Spirit has done and continues to do in our lives through these two anointed men of God and their obedience to the proclamation of the Word of God.

If you and your family choose to pursue these teachings, God will use them to break you apart in pieces, undo you completely, and bring you to a point where He can use you for His glory.

Woe is us, a people of unclean lips...may His grace be upon us.




p.s. If you would like to know why our family is passionate about listening to sermons regularly and why we believe it is necessary to continue to be in the Word of God daily and pursue diligently to hear from those gifted by God to teach, you can read my post here.