~ I am but a Butterfly ~

I came across this short film and loved it. It is worth watching, but you will need 20 minutes for the show. (It also takes a bit to load so I just left it and came back~also turn off music in my sidebar)


*Warning* this movie is considered family friendly but I would preview it first to see what ages you would be comfortable with and whether you are willing to be prepared to answer a couple of awkward questions if they came up. (one scene where a pregnant prostitute is thrown out of a brothel and a man throws a coin at her)


I have to admit this movie made me cry...of course I am a rather big sap so it doesn't take much!

It really got me thinking about myself and tradesman and our family. I started to think about some of the people, speakers, leaders that I look up too. Many of them have stories of great redemption.

So many of us in the body of Christ are misfits. Many of us do not come from a long line of godly family members. There was no rich, spiritual heritage passed on to us.

God FOUND us. Broken, wretched, lonely, needy, we were found. A desire was born, a fire lit, passions grew.

Like many, I feel so unworthy. I have wondered as well "why me?" Why would the incredible, Awesome God of the universe choose me? Why take me out of a childhood of sorrow and restore me?

Why bless tradesman and I in the early years of marriage and pursue us when we turned our backs and lived a selfish life more interested in the things of the world rather than your holiness?

Why bless us with many children and trust us to raise them steeped in your ways, equip them for leadership and train them in godliness? How can we possibly be qualified for such a feat?

Why give me the privilege to speak into other women's lives encouraging and exhorting when I am but a misshapen, dusty, dinged up shell.


I AM NOT WORTHY.


WE ARE NOT WORTHY.


That's the beauty of it...Grace. Glorious, freely given, heart healing grace.

I love the line in the movie where Mendez says "The greater the struggle, the more glorious the triumph!"

So very true. His glory is shown in our triumph, His power is made perfect in our weakness.

Your past does not matter, where you have come from is unimportant. Where you are going is up to you.

No matter where you are today in your spiritual walk, He still desires you. No matter how far you have fallen, you are still His. No matter how much you struggle each day, whether it be your marriage, your children, your own selfishness.. He is still in the business of restoration, of making all things new. He can bring beauty from ashes, turn your tears to joy.


Seek Him, Listen.


You are His child, His beloved child and He wants you just the way you are.



Love and prayers,

~ Churches in a Rut? ~

Churches get in ruts only because individuals get in ruts. It is impossible that the church should do anything that individuals do not do.

It is impossible that we should make any progress except as made by individuals. It is impossible there should be any regress unless individual Christians go backward.

~A.W. Tozer

~ Summer ~

Our

school

books

finally

arrived.

So

summer

is

really

officially

over.

Boo

Hoo.

No

fair.

~ Do Hard Things ~

This summer my 13 yr. old son and I ventured out on a road trip to Chicago to a "Do Hard Things" conference. If you and your teenager haven't read the book, I highly recommend it!

The premise of the book is to challenge teens to rise above low expectations set by an ungodly culture and live lives outside of society's stereotype of adolescence. To embrace character and competence. To rebel against the youth culture of today. They use 1Tim 4:12 to challenge teens to live with exemplary behaviour and reject a life of complacency. Not just to do what comes easily but to rise above and DO HARD THINGS! Don't even get me started on how exciting I find all of this!!

The book was written by then teenagers Alex and Brett Harris. They come from a godly family of speakers, authors and pastors. My son and I have both read the book and have been following their blog for the past year or so.





Since tradesman was planning on taking both our boys to a different conference in Georgia at the end of the summer it was decided that I would do this as a little mother/son weekend get-away.

And of course because I would not dream of leaving little precious baby My at home, she was our third wheel. ( And a cute little 3rd wheel at that! :)





In all of my last minute planning, preparations, packing and such it never really occurred to me that *I* would be the ONE that would be doing all 9+hrs. of driving across a handful of states into a crazy, busy city navigating and such. Not until the night before while in the shower and while thinking about how I still needed to print off my driving directions by mapquest did I finally clue in.

Wowzers, did I ever start to panic!!

I am so NOT confident driving anywhere outside of regular day to day stuff. I am what you call "directionally challenged" putting it nicely. I am even worse now that I am used to country driving. I am so not used to traffic, other cars being close to mine, quick lane changes and all that jazz.

Oh my, was I EVER in for a surprise when I hit the outskirts of Chicago! It was dark since it was late at night and there was what seemed like a million lanes and just as many cars. All I could see was hundreds of lights moving at incredible speed everywhere. I really was afraid!!

I pretty much just clung to the steering wheel. Told my son to read my next direction off the paper over and over again. I seriously started to sing worship songs at the top of my voice to try and calm myself down. We are asked to "pray without ceasing" and I was having absolutely NO trouble with that!

With more stress than I can even explain for the last hour of driving, we arrived at our destination safely.






Unfortunately, our hotel was located 1/2 hr. from the actual location of the conference which was downtown Chicago. I reluctantly got behind the wheel again the next morning and drove right into the fiery furnace fast paced, complex slew of highways and traffic. I have to admit, I hated it, every minute of it, and yes, I tell my children that hate is a strong word and to use it sparingly, but I felt VERY strongly!


I did miss an important turn that morning and ended up on some freeway going to who knows where. I was crying, and flailing while gripping the wheel tightly (picture that). I took some exit and just kept taking turn after turn and driving hoping to find some place to pull over. I called tradesman from my cellphone (guess how much that cost) and had him try and figure out where the heck I had ended up. Besides my much weeping and drama, by Gods providence, I was literally 5 mins. away. TWO turns, thats it! Thats all I had to do and I was safely parked.







The church was beautiful and packed. This picture was taken right after a break and not everyone was back at their seats. We sat in the balcony which was perfect for baby My.







There was a hallway that ran all the way around the outside of the balcony seats. Baby My and I were able to sit on the floor and hear perfectly and she could play and crawl to her hearts content.

You can see my sons feet to the top left of baby Mys head. I wasn't sure what kind of a set up they would have there, but I have always brought my babies everywhere and have always found them to be very content, laidback and very adaptable. I however, was very pleased with how the lay out and accessibility was. It made the whole thing very comfortable for both her and I. She didn't miss a beat and enjoyed herself immensely.

We had a great weekend, loved the sessions, and loved the time together. Honestly though, my son saw me at some pretty weak points. He saw me probably the most emotional he has ever seen me. The whole thing was rough for me, very rough. There are more driving stories but it would be boring to go into all of them. I'm sure it seems silly to some, but fear is a crazy thing.

It cripples us, it steals our joy, it causes us to doubt, and weakens our faith. We become inwardly focused. I had to consistently call on the Lord for strength. I knew that I was living and breathing for my son an example of pushing yourself outside of what you believe are your limits. I was far outside of my comfort zone, and he knew it.

Frankly, I was doing "Hard Things."

It's good for our kids to see us struggle, and fall. How we recover and what we do when we are at our most desperate is what will speak volumes. Seeing me praying, trusting, persevering is what my son will remember about me that weekend. When he struggles and fails, when he himself is crippled with fear he will know that he is not alone and he will know from example that he too can push through, and cling to his Heavenly Father.

If you would like to hear Alex and Brett Harris talk about The Rebelution and their book you can listen to them via podcast. Focus on the Family featured them not long ago on their radio broadcasts and here is a link to listen on their site. Grab your teenager or pre teen and listen in.

Love,

~Turn Away From Evil ~

(Turn music off in my sidebar)

I just loved this video when I came across it on the Rebelution blog. After I seen it, I grabbed my children and had them sit down and watch it.

He explains so well the allure and the deception of sin. He covers how many Christians will try to justify or explain away their choices.

I laughed out loud at his comical skit and yet was so impressed with the TRUTH that was portrayed. Watch this video with your spouse, and with your kids and talk about it.

Discuss those things in your life in which maybe you need to be turning away from. Discuss why you have made some of the choices that you have as a family.

What a great chance to affirm those family choices with your children. The rules that we have, the things that we will not be a part of, events that we will not attend, the books that we will not read, the movies that we will not watch, the lyrics that we will not sing along too are all for this very reason.

We are to TURN AWAY and FLEE from evil...Not watch it, read it, cheer at it, and dance to it!

Romans 16:19~ I want you to be wise of what is good and innocent to what is evil.

When Jesus spent time with sinners He did not justify their sin, He did not join them in it in order to relate to them. He called them out, saw their sin for what it was...the depravity of man. He loved them unconditionally, showed them grace and revealed to them their deep need for Him.

When will we stop justifying our sin.. leading lives of hypocrisy revealing a murky, muddled view of the gospel?

~ Look Who's 1 ! ~

You turned one this week my baby girl. I know every mother says this but the time just flew by. Its funny how I remember when your big brothers were small that I loved each new milestone that we hit. I could hardly wait till they got bigger because it was just so exciting and new. And yet with you... it's different.

I just can't help but feel a little sadness as each new month comes to an end and you get a little bit older. Maybe its because I am so familiar with how fleeting this precious babytime is.

You already are so independent now in so many ways. You'd rather spend time playing and crawling around on the floor with your big brothers and sisters than be curled up in my arms during the day. You have now decided you'd far rather sleep on your own than be snuggled in with mommy and daddy at night. Your daddy and I are so sad, but still get to enjoy your late night snuggle with us. Mommy cherishes her early morning cuddles while holding you so close as we go back to sleep together and you nurse.

I am so very thankful for you little one. Each day you bring me such happiness and joy. Your smiles and giggles are so contagious. You bring the whole family to laughter so easily.

You are such a peaceful baby...We were all so alarmed when you cried the first time. You were 5 months old and you bumped your head . None of us had ever heard you cry. It was such a shock and everyone was so sad to see you actually upset. You are moving around so much more now that you get hurt more often. The whole family still all come running to try and comfort you.

You smile at most everyone you meet. You're friendly and funny. We love that about you.

We love you baby My My.

For now I will savor every bit of babytime I have left. I will squish your little chubby cheeks with my kisses, I will breathe in your sweet baby smell, I will rub your fuzzy little head and relish in your drooly kisses.

I will take joy in each moment that I get to spend with you in my arms knowing that it won't be long that you too will be joining your siblings running away from me across the lawn.

I will rock you longer and hold you tighter.

Thank-you God for the privilege of motherhood. Thank-you again for revealing to me through the care of one of your many blessings, the fraility of life. I will embrace each day as if it were my last and hold my dear ones close to my heart...

~ Eternal Value ~

I guess because my oldest is growing up I am starting to ponder the brevity of life more. What I once thought would last forever is flying by at a rapid pace.

Things that I took for granted are no longer there...moments that I remember clearly are lost forever.

All things do pass. Nothing lasts forever. During trials these are encouraging words and yet when looking over the lives of your children, the memories, the special times when they were little, it becomes a grim reminder of the reality of this life here on earth.

I must examine my choices. Am I investing enough in that which is eternal?

"But store up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where neither rust nor moth destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal."~ Matthew. 6:20

What an important scriptural concept. If we really clearly understood that our days here on earth are numbered, would we feel a greater urgency to invest in eternal values?

I was reading something that Dr. James Dobson wrote in a Focus on the Family newsletter that I thought I would share.

Here are his words below:

"Would a 50-year-old man pursue an adulterous affair if he knew how quickly he would stand before his God? Would a woman make herself sick from in-law conflict or other petty frustrations if she knew how little time was left to her? Would men and women devote their lives to the pursuit of wealth and symbols of status if they realized how soon their possessions will be torn from their trembling hands? It is the illusion of permanence, you see, that distorts our perception and shapes our selfish behavior. When eternal values come in view, our greatest desire is to please the Lord and influence as many of our loved ones for Him as possible.

I ask each of my readers this important question: If we really believed that the eternal souls of our children hang in the balance today--that only by winning them for Christ can we spend eternity together in heaven--would we change the way this day is lived? Would we ignore and neglect so great an opportunity if our eyes were fully opened to this awesome responsibility? I think not. I pray not.

Addressing myself now to the mothers and fathers of young children, I urge you to keep this eternal perspective in view as you race through the days of your lives. Don't permit yourselves to become discouraged with the responsibilities of parenting. Yes, it is an exhausting and difficult assignment, and there are times when you will feel like throwing in the towel. But I beg you to stay the course! Get on your knees before the Lord and ask for His strength and wisdom. Finish the job to which He has called you! There is no more important task in living, and you will understand that assignment more clearly when you stand where Shirley and I are today. In the blink of an eye, you will be hugging your children good-bye and returning to an empty house. That is the way the system works." ~ Dr. James Dobson



Like this last pea pod of the season from our garden, I have 6 little peas nestled in my home for now. The time will come when they each will leave our home. I will be forced to examine the way I used my time when they were here with me.

What I do today with Gods grace can determine whether or not I will spend an eternity with them in heaven.

Much time spent with them loving, training, and guiding, along with much time spent on my knees in prayer is what I choose today and tommorrow.

Blessings,

~ Something to Strive For ~

I came across this quote and chuckled and thought to myself... Wow!

Now that is something to strive for.

"Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says..

"Oh no, she's awake."

~Unknown

~ Our Identity ~

Its strange how my children can go a way for a few days and I can miss them so much.

I yearn for them, feel a little sad, lose the pep in my step.

My dad wanted to take the kids up to his cottage for a few days..what a blessing really.

Not only is it fun for them, but it also allows me a break to focus on some things that need to get done.

With just baby My here, I can literally work hours with very little interruption, and yet I still feel forlorn.

Crazy huh?

Having my children away has made me realize how very much motherhood is ingrained into every fibre of my being.

Motherhood is so much a part of who I am. Although, it is not all that I am.

Motherhood does not define me. Being a wife and a helpmeet to my husband does not define me. I remember a time when it did. I remember feeling that however tradesman saw me or felt about me was then how I would see myself. My identity became wrapped up in my marriage. Whatever state my marriage was in was how I then saw myself.

Gradually, when I had children I saw the same thing become true as well. The amount of love that I received from my children, the validation I felt as a mother, the way that my children behaved all reflected back on my sense of identity.

However, my most important role yet is a follower of Christ.

My identity is not found in my role as my "childrens mother" nor is it found in my role as my "husbands wife."

I am a new creature in Christ. My identity is found in Him alone.

Motherhood is for HIS glory.

Being a wife and mother should not define our importance or our sense of security.

He longs for us to see ourselves as He sees us. We are the bride of Christ. The blushing, hope-filled, all things made new, beautiful bride of Christ.

We need to relish in this ladies. Relish in this most sacred, and important role.

I think I feel that pep in my step coming back.

Love,

~ Sorry ~

I'm truly sorry for the timing of this post. Yes, I realize that it is August and Fathers Day was back in June.

However, a family member asked if I would post pictures of our festivities and gifts for tradesman and I... um, agreed.

Now feeling silly I will go forth and oblige. You have the option of turning back now, or forever hold your peace.

Moving on...

Here's the shirt we made him. And yes we make him wear it. We worked darn hard on it I tell you!

I asked tradesman if he was at the point in life where he could walk around wearing a shirt with the many faces of his children on it and he said he surely was... I kid you not!

The back says "Hands Down" with most of our childrens' hand prints...that baby My was not in the slightest bit co-operative with keeping her pudgy little hand open for me.

And yes, I do know that it is almost near impossible to read the word "Hand" we some how got it backwords or upside down or something anyway.

With 5 children designing and re-designing and placing and re-placing decal letters, everything just got a bit crazy and obscured! My job was to man the very hot iron and press and re-press till I thought my hands would fall off...

Tradesman loved it though and the kids were very proud of their work! Yay Walmart! ( You can purchase all needed items for this fun, labor intensive, knock your husbands socks off project there)

Now because I have girls who are relentless with the baking and the crafting we had to do some kind of special food item for daddy too.

And so I present you with our dessert burger and fries. (brownies, cupcakes and shortbread being the main ingredients) The kids got a real kick out of making this, including the boys.

We got the recipe and the templates to print and make the schnazzy little tray and such online. When the girls and I were looking at it, I thought this will be easy and it was, but the mess that was made is a whole other story!

Tradesman enjoying his first bite with my 3 yr. old looking on proudly.

Everyone got to have a little "burger" and "fries" and much fun was had by all.

~ Who Will They Worship? ~

"It is imperative to be clear on this issue: parenting is not just providing good input. It is not just creating a constructive home atmosphere and positive interaction between a child and his/her parent.

There is another dimension.

The child is interacting with the Living God. . .He is either worshipping and serving and growing in understanding of the implication of who God is, or he is seeking to make sense of life without a relationship with God...

If he is a living fool who says in his heart there is no God; such a person doesn't cease to be a worshipper. He simply worships what is not God.

Part of the parent's task is to shepherd him as a creature who worships, pointing him to the One who alone is worthy of worship.

The question is not: "Will he worship?"

It is always, "Who will he worship..."

~Ted Tripp